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Last updateWed, 18 Oct 2017 8am

Opinion

Don’t Forget Your College Firsts (the Good and the Bad)

In life you come across a lot of firsts. There's your first kiss; your first car; your first day of preschool. They are influential moments that happen all the time.

Usually in the moment when you know it's the first time for something, you catalog the feelings of that first in your memory. But along with the obvious firsts you are aware of, there are also a lot of firsts that happen and you may not even realize it.

This is especially true in the love department. There is your first relationship; your first college hook-up and your first serious break up.

These significant moments happen to all of us and when it happens, you may not realize it but it could be the last first of its kind.

As we rush through these four years of college and head toward the mystery of the unknown that is the real world, it is important to take into account some of the less obvious firsts that you experience on the turbulent road to accepting that college degree.

Such as the first time you realize love should come freely without trying. There comes a point in one's adulthood where you just become fed up with the games, lies and unanswered texts. You like him or her and you just want it to be that simple.

We are all aware that we are considered the hook-up generation and honestly it is just exhausting.

So at one point, after that fifth unanswered text or constant feeling of disappointment, for the first time, we realize we should stop trying to find love.

There is no need to rush or settle for anyone just to have someone in your life. When the timing is right, you will find that other person you are meant to be with.

In the mean time, there are more important things to worry about and focus on than finding that special someone.

Although love and relationships are a huge part of college, let's not forget why we're here: to gain a great education and eventually land an amazing job.

It is difficult finding the balance between romance and education. Sometimes with devoting yourself to your education and future career, you run the risk of your first heart break. It's painful but everyone must experience a heart break at least once. It is just the way life works.

However, most of the time good comes out of something bad. With your first break up comes the realization that you want more in life than just a significant other, you have hopes and dreams. Don't let a little heart break get in the way.

And while I'm at it, after the first awful heart break, soon comes another. A second heartbreak may not even be love related.

You may experience heartbreak when you do not end up with the grade you hoped for in a class you worked extremely hard in; or you may not get that job you have been wanting since you entered college.

However, all of these heartbreaking moments in life prepare you for the rest of the ones to come and make you a better person in the long run. For the first time you accept the fact, not willingly, that you will fail more than once.

College is not meant to be easy. You are not supposed to, nor expected, to breeze by in every class or instantly land a job, all while maintaining some perfect fairy tale relationship. It just doesn't happen like that.

Yet, if anyone has it all figured out and is able to maintain and successfully pull off all three of those major aspects of one's life, I suggest you start writing a weekly article in The Outlook revealing all your secrets.

You may receive A's in classes, while you may have to retake others. College does not come without failure.

Failure is a part of life and although it could be hard to accept, the sooner you come to terms with failing at times, the easier it will be to pick yourself up.

After each time you fall, you learn time and time again that you are actually strong enough to pick yourself back up; and that is pretty rewarding.

Granted, it is you and only you that can pick yourself up. In college, we all know there is nothing more important than those friends who stick by you through it all.

The first time you find yourself surrounded by great friends who you can trust to have your back through thick and thin is a pretty great moment.

I remember my first semester about a month or so in, I was feeling lost, lonely and completely confused. Was this college thing even for me?

Then one night as I sat there with these girls I barely knew, I laughed the hardest I ever thought I could, and that was the first time I knew these girls would be my friends for the long run.

College is a time of self-exploration, finding what makes you happy. The first time you find what it is that truly makes you happy, is a pretty incredible feeling.

When I first started going to MU, I never thought I'd end up being the person I am today.

While being at MU, my college years have helped me realize I am a girl who loves doing anything outdoors; actually enjoys exercising; loves traveling anywhere, and being extremely passionate about my major.

None of these moments are concrete moments that happen in front of your face. Most of them might happen and you never realize they did.

Don't try searching for these moments wondering if each significant moment that happens in your life will be the one that shapes your life. It doesn't work that way.

The less obvious firsts in college are what help make you who you are.

Contact Information

CAMPUS LOCATION
The Outlook
Jules L. Plangere Jr. Center for Communication
and Instructional Technology (CCIT)
Room 260, 2nd floor

MAILING ADDRESS
The Outlook
Monmouth University
400 Cedar Ave, West Long Branch, New Jersey
07764

Phone: (732) 571-3481 | Fax: (732) 263-5151
Email: outlook@monmouth.edu