50 shades
Entertainment

“Fifty Shades” of W.T.F.

When I showed up with my overpriced box of popcorn and large beverage to see Fifty Shades of Grey, I simply did not prepare myself enough for what I was getting into.

Fifty Shades of Grey, in so many words, is well-shot, expensive pornography.

You cannot make a movie about BDSM (Bondage and Discipline and Sadism and Masochism) and not expect it to be graphic. I can only assume most people knew this going in, but there was a little voice in the back of my mind saying, “They can’t really put that in theaters, can they?”

Well, they did.

The sex scenes were very graphic, and if you are not a fan of looking at other people’s body parts, I would not recommend seeing this film. I do, however, understand why it had to be done. 

If you were curious as to what the female body looks like, Fifty Shades of Grey will definitely give you an anatomy lesson. I saw more of Dakota Johnson, the actress who plays female lead Anastasia Steele, than I would ever have liked to, but that was not the most disturbing part for cringing movie-goers such as myself.

During the very graphic sex scenes, her reactions to the pain being inflicted on her seemed very natural, but also something I would have liked to see. Honestly though, I expected nothing less from a high-budget pornography film.

The “Red Room of Pain,” the term coined by Anastasia in the novel, was everything a fan of the series could have ever wanted it to be. Every detail from the red leather bed to the walls of “pleasure” devices was there on the screen. There wasn’t a thing to be missed in this room and I was so happy to see that Hollywood actually did a book justice for once. However, I cannot forgive them for the poor casting of Christian Grey.

Christian (Jamie Dornan), the super sexy, dominant billionaire described in the book, was nothing like  what E.L. James had written. Don’t get me wrong, the man was quite attractive—he just wasn’t the Christian Grey I read about in the book. 

Anastasia, however, happened to look exactly as how I imagined her in my mind. Johnson was significantly less attractive than Dornan, and her acting matched perfectly to Anastasia’s reactions in the book, which brings me to the acting portion of this movie.

Considering the book was a mess of grammatical errors and overall bad writing, the movie was exactly that. It was quite obvious that the bad writing was covered up by elegant scenery throughout the film, but still the script was bad. There were actually some moments in the film that made me feel incredibly uncomfortable, just as they had when I read the book.

For example, when Christian makes awkward comments during the “business meeting,” they made me feel just as uncomfortable as when I read them in the book. I did not need to hear how much Christian wanted to violate Anastasia across his table again, but given the book’s erotic nature, I can understand the need for these comments.

The ending by far was the best part of the movie, and no, it wasn’t just because I didn’t have to continue sitting through a two-hour pornography. The movie ended so abruptly, just as the book did, and it made for a pleasant dramatic effect. But the question remains, should you go see this movie?

If you read the book and really want to see what everything looks like, then by all means, go ahead and see the movie, but wait until it comes out on DVD and watch it alone. I will say, it was quite an uncomfortable experience watching intense sexual relations happen on screen with a room full of overexcited women.

But in all seriousness, there are other ways to watch porn that don’t involve paying for $12 movie ticket.

IMAGE TAKEN from romcomsociety.com