Thinking About Halloween

What We’re Really Thinking About Halloween

Overpriced Drinks, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Other Halloween Favorites

Thinking About HalloweenThe leaves have all fallen, it’s dark before 6:00 pm and you need a jacket in the morning. Welcome to fall! And we all know what that means… Halloween is on its merry way.

Get ready to start stressing over whether you should be a nurse or cat woman. God forbid anyone chose something original. And we all know that some guy is going to be the condom dispenser and act like he’s the first person to wear the costume.

Or maybe you don’t have the good fortune of getting to dress up like an angel for the 15th time. Perhaps you’ll be chained to your front door for eight hours as snot nosed kids stomp all over your front lawn and come to your door looking for candy like bums begging for a dollar.

When Halloween falls on a Saturday or Sunday, there’s always that parent that decides that 9:00 am is a suitable time to begin trick or treating. That’s always fun. And who doesn’t love the kid who grabs 50 Kit Kats after you specifically say “TAKE ONE”? Then they’ll go running, trampling your beautiful hydrangea bushes without as much as a thank you.

We all secretly love Halloween because it is an excuse to be a kid again. But does anyone remember worrying about bars doubling their entry fees when we were 12? Nope, because now you’re 21, and you can drink legally! Which means bars get to slap you with a $30 entry fee and $15 “haunted” mojitos? Well, drink up! You’ll have more fun dressed as Charlie Sheen if you’re inebriated.

Prepare yourself for those terrible pictures that you are about to be tagged in on Facebook! Sure, when you slapped on that 20 pounds of makeup and pink wig in your dorm you look cute and fab, but 17 drinks later? Not so much. You’ll probably find yourself having taken pictures dancing on the bar with some guy that thinks he’s Borat, in nothing but a neon thong. Prepare to click that “untag” button a lot on November 1.

You must be excited for ABC Family’s 13 Nights of Halloween! They start airing the commercials earlier and earlier every year. They probably started somewhere around June this year.

How many times can a person watch Thirteen Ghosts? Someone needs to tell them that Buffy the Vampire Slayer is not scary. But then again, any excuse to watch Edward Scissorhands is a good one. The question is, which side of mischief night are you on? Do you put shaving cream on door handles or walk around the next day cursing the people who egged your house?

The concept is ridiculous. Whoever turned to their friend and said “Hey, tomorrow’s Halloween, let’s go throw toilet paper on some trees!” had to be insane. But to their credit, it must be a lot of fun to spray silly string every which way without a care. Either way, get your Spiderman suit, Katy Perry wig, or maid’s uniform ready, because Halloween is right around the corner, and there’s a frat basement with a single keg of beer (for 200 people) waiting for you.