How Divorce Affects Students and Society
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, the current divorce rate in our country is up to 50 percent. That means that when a couple gets married, there is a 50 percent chance that the marriage will end in a divorce.
Alan Foster, sociology professor, said that part of the problem with divorce is that it is too easy to get married in this country.
“You don’t have to take a test and all you need is a couple of bucks and a license. We have a lot of freedom in this country to marry anybody we choose, which could be part of the reason why people get married for the wrong reasons,” said Foster.
Foster also suggested that maybe there is a need for some sort of a pre-marital test to see if people are prepared. People need to make sure they’re with the right person, they have enough money, and they are ready and mature enough to handle being married.
When a family goes through a divorce, they must experience the pain that both sides go through and the sadness that is felt if children are involved. They no longer get to grow up in a normal household, but instead have to live with one parent and see the other one from time to time. It changes everything for everyone involved and can leave a lasting effect.
Franca Mancini, Director of Counseling and Psychological Services, discussed some of these affects one may see occur in a divorce, especially in terms of young adults.
“In my experience, in situations like this the individual response will vary, but it is always a major life event, and therefore some degree of anxiety will be present,” said Mancini. “It is fairly common to see anger and irritability also, even in adult children who no longer live in the home, like college students. There is a sense of loss and certainly disruption on a material and psychological level. What was no longer in relationships and even dayto- day routines will need to be redefined. It is a stressful process, and often children get lost in it. Their feelings about it aren’t brought to the surface clearly.”
Mancini also added how it seems like divorce is so accepted in society today. Because of this idea, this makes it difficult for all parties involved to identify the feelings they are having. This ultimately has an effect on the healing process, as people may not be able to speak up and really say what they are feeling.
Children, who grow up experiencing divorce through their parents, are more likely to get divorced themselves when they are older.
Foster used his brother as an example of this. His brother got divorced from his wife, and all three of his kids went on to marry and follow in their father’s footsteps of getting a divorce as well. Something like this is a reality and is an unfortunate effect of divorce.
Not only does divorce leave an emotional effect on all those involved, but for the two parties involved who are getting divorced, it also has a financial impact. Albert Calise, practicing lawyer and professor, has studied divorce in law school and how it can financially affect people.
“I believe there is one winner in a divorce, and it’s the attorney. People are getting divorced and they have their reasons, but financially, the attorney wins. As far as how much the attorney makes, it depends on each case. Some cases go on and on, and if a lawyer is getting an hourly rate he makes out with a big check,” Calise said.
Calise added that people get divorced for good reasons and people get divorced for bad reasons. The cases are very unique because there are many emotions involved, which can make things very difficult for both parties. Christine Gurrera has been divorced for nearly 15 years and agrees that divorce can have both an emotional and a financial impact.
“It’s a very frightening time. Emotionally, everything is difficult and you also have to face the fact that your finances are changing. The end result is you will be living differently from a financial standpoint and you will have a huge bill to pay for the divorce, especially in terms of paying for an attorney,” said Gurrera.
Sometimes, divorces are necessary. Sometimes the people just are not in love anymore or maybe there is even the threat of violence in the household, which also deems it necessary. This again leads back to Foster’s point that maybe divorce isn’t the major issue.
The fact that people marry so young and the fact that the process is not difficult leads to the problem of divorce later on down the road. There is also the idea of how we as a society have become so attached to the idea of instant gratification that we look for quick solutions to problems. Instead of working on marriages, nowadays people just resolve to divorce, as sort of an easy way out.
For many, divorce isn’t an easy fix; it’s a disastrous solution for all parties involved.
PHOTO COURTESY of allfromweb.net
