There is an old saying: “When one door closes, another door opens.” The person holding that door open is a gentleman – silently nodding, waiting for a reply. If that does not sound appealing to you, the female reader, then how would you feel if he slowly closed the door with a wry smirk on his face as you shuffled to it, adjusting the bag or backpack on your shoulder, only to grab the door’s handle three inches before it closes. Would you begin to feel something other than anger? Would you feel curious about the kind of audacity it takes to do things without caring for others? Could you make him be more sincere?
If the second scenario sounds more familiar, you may be attracted to a bad boy. While the scenario is hyperbolic, I believe the feeling of being left in the dirt by someone can make you want them even more as a romantic partner. The door can be locked in my face, and I will still try to pick at the lock, hoping that I bent my confidence into the correct shape. This effort is all for the non-existent opportunity to suggest that the dinner table I set up at her doorstep is pretty exquisite.
The key element of a ‘bad boy’ girls admire is a smooth combination of class and care. The quality of this combination is so refined that it beats that of any Valentine’s Day box of chocolates from a secret admirer. The bad boy dresses in a particular fashion and sticks to it. He wears his favorite cologne and pretends the air around him isn’t enchanted. Everything about him is recognizable, and girls want him to recognize them. In this case, the bad boy blocks his door of opportunity with a metaphorical sofa. It can still be opened, but it will take a lot of effort.
If people in general love anything, it’s a good challenge. Challenges make things more gratifying when you finally get them. This is where “playing hard to get” comes in. If someone were to dangle a birthday present in front of you, but he, she, or they refused to give it to you, wouldn’t you try giving multiple reasons why you should be able to rightfully have it? The bad boy is aware of how well he can influence girls’ emotions by simply existing and hinting at his interest in one of them to an extremely subtle degree. This tricks girls into engaging in a “cat and mouse” game, where she tries to hold his attention until she can squeeze through the invisible door of opportunity just enough to gain his interest and become his partner.
The game is still not over, however, as the bad boy will continue to show an almost complete lack of interest, so the girl waits for the moments when the door cracks open and she can continue to prove her interest in him. The act of engagement keeps the relationship entertaining, which is why some “nice guys” cannot catch a break.
The nice guy needs to be able to maintain a feeling of mystery in his aura, all while looking presentable and holding the reins on his expression of interest in someone else. In other words, holding the door open for her just won’t cut it; being polite is not flirting.
Girls also should take note that the bad boys will never fully give them all they are looking for. They keep the chase reoccuring, while nice guys are there holding the door and giving girls what they need and deserve.
So hold tight nice guys, there is hope to not always finish last.
