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Last updateWed, 16 Oct 2019 12pm

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Personal Loss Will Set You Free

Life is Short, Live Spontaneously While You Still Can


Set You FreeI was raised very differently from most kids my age and many kids being raised today.

I came from a small, close-knit family, with working parents who hired nannies, and enforced structure. I was raised Protestant, went to church on Sundays, and went to a Catholic high school.

Then, when I was eight-years-old, my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. For nine years following, I watched my mother struggle, conquer, and then struggle again with the disease.

When I was 17-years-old, my mother finally lost her battle with cancer. At the time, I was a senior in high school, struggling with graduating, finding a college, figuring out who I was, and who I was going to become. Her death left a gaping hole in my life.

I began doing things, good and bad alike, to take away the pain and make me happy, if only for even the slightest moment. I was struggling, learning to contend with difficulties, trying to figure out what was going on.

An event like this makes you question almost everything. Why me? Why my family? What happens now? Even before my mother’s death, I questioned most things, especially religion and values. I still do today.

No, I am not an Atheist, I am not without morals, but I do not believe in much. I lost faith in people after my mother’s death because it brought out the worst in people, friends and family alike. I lost faith in spirituality because it did not heal the wounds and it did not bring me comfort in my time of need.

It is eight years after her death, and I am still searching for things to believe in. What I believe in, and have found the most comfort in, is my personal freedom. A freedom which my mother’s death helped me to achieve.

I live frivolously now because I know I will not be able to afford it when I am finished with college. I go on vacations now because I know won’t have the time when I am working and starting a family.

How many people my age can say they have been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans, run a half-marathon, went sky diving, and survived the DayGlow Paint Party/Concert within six months? I’m going to guess and say not many.

It sounds cliché, but my mother’s death taught me that life is short, and her will to live has been the driving force behind all my personal choices throughout my life.

Be spontaneous, and go skydiving. Book a trip to Las Vegas, get a VIP table, and have some fun. Get lost in the Bourbon Street crowd of Mardi Gras.

No matter what you do, live to live, because you never know when your chances will end.

PHOTO COURTESY of Colin Sargent

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Monmouth University
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07764

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