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How to Not Be Single on Valentine’s Day

Not Be Single ValentineAh, Valentine’s Day. That time of year when your television haunts you with online dating commercials, tempting you to log on and meet “the one!”  Flowers.com is gradually showing up on the side bar advertisement of every website you log onto and you suddenly feel this compulsion to get into a relationship; even though last month you were living the single life like it was nobody’s business.  It’s time to start looking for a new companion, getting past that awkward first date, and then entering into a relationship.

Now, everybody knows that the beginning of the relationship is one of the most fragile times in the dating world.  One wrong move and you’re immediately pegged as “damaged goods.”  For example, when you meet someone you like, you become friends on Facebook.  That doesn’t mean it’s time to update your status with things like “February is so cold! Wish I had a cuddle buddy!”  Can anyone say creep alert? 

But nothing beats the classic “Who wants to be my Valentine?” status.  Nothing like letting every single one of your 1,200 Facebook friends know that you are getting no action whatsoever.  Facebook is tricky when it comes to dating, so it is important to be on your best online behavior, especially in the first few months.  “Last year, this girl I was seeing sent me a relationship request on Facebook after our third date.  I haven’t spoken to her since,” said Mike Zelek, 21, a senior at Rowan University.

Even without Facebook, the beginning of any relationship is dangerous, also known as Phase one, especially right before the big Vday.  We all act like angels and dance around each other like we’re walking on broken glass.  Girls pretend they “love” football and are die hard “Yankee fans.”  “I always get more texts from girls in February just because they want me to show up on Valentine’s Day with candy,” said Alex Cohen, sophomore at the University.  Guys act like they aren’t jealous when their new girlfriend hugs her lab partner with the perfect cheekbones and perfectly chiseled sixpack.  Anyone who enters into a relationship between February 1 and 13 can officially be labeled as “desperate”.  But then again, at least you’re being desperate together!

Phase two: The first date, also known as, a really awkward job interview with sexual tension.  Now this one is to all you ladies out there. If you have found a guy that is willing to take you out to dinner, and pay, do him and yourself a favor, and stop talking about yourself 24/7.  It’s time to let him get a word in.  No guy wants to hear you babble on about how annoying your mom is and why your favorite drink at Starbucks is the nonfat mocha iced latte with no whip. “Usually when I’m on a date I sit there listening the entire time, I love when I can get a word in or the girl takes a second to stop talking and breathe,” said Cohen.

This goes for both girls and guys: Put that phone away!  If you are on a first date with someone you are even remotely interested in, put your phone on vibrate and stick it in your pocket.  Unless you receive a phone call because your Aunt Gertrude is in the hospital for an emergency lung transplant, there is no reason to have your phone out during the date.  There is nothing more irritating than talking to someone who is glued to their iPhone playing Temple Run all night.  “My ex used to take phone calls without even excusing himself when I was midsentence.  It made me want to scream in the middle of a restaurant,” said Kayla Nennecke, 22, senior at Seton Hall University.

One more deadly mistake so many boys and girls love to make on that first date is to order any meal that contains garlic.  Are you trying to repel the opposite sex?  I didn’t think so, so try sticking with something blander next time. We aren’t here to have a bad breath contest. “If a guy orders a dish with a lot of garlic, I take it as a red flag that he’s not into me,” said Michele Ventricelli, 20, junior at the University. Four words to live by: Bad breathe, bad date.

If you are lucky enough to make it past the initial meeting process and the pains of a first date, and enter into a relationship, then kudos to you.  But there’s nothing like a little Facebook to mess up a good relationship!  Girls, try not to stalk your boyfriend’s wall 18 times a day, calling him about every single girl that writes on his wall.  “Sometimes I think about deleting my Facebook to avoid getting nasty texts from whoever I’m dating,” said Zelek. 

And another thing, ladies, there is nothing more aggravating than a mobile uploaded picture of the flowers and drug store box of chocolates that your “baby” sent you.  If you want to lose all of your true friends, be sure to upload one of these shots to your Facebook the next time you receive flowers.  Nobody cares that you have “the best boyfriend in the world.”  The flowers probably came from ShopRite and cost $9.99.  Congratulations, your boyfriend is competent enough to drive to the food store! 

Last but not least, guys, if you want to sit around and play Xbox all day, rather than hang out with your “amazing girlfriend,” then fine.  But a word of advice: Don’t even think about touching that controller the next time your girl is hanging out in your room and you guys are the least bit bored. “If a guy is playing his stupid Xbox when I am at his house, I am tempted to break the controller in half,” said Ventricelli. Unless you want to majorly piss off your girl, you will pretend that controller doesn’t even exist.

Now that you all know how to act like a shining star when in a relationship, go out and find the one! Preferably not on eHarmony.com. But whatever your relationship status, try to make the best of this upcoming Valentine’s Day, whether it is on a hot date with your sexy new partner or at home with your Netflix account and a chocolate bar the size of your face. 

PHOTO COURTESY of funnystatus.com