Last updateWed, 22 Nov 2017 8am


Having One “Soulmate” Sounds Overrated

We won’t all visit China, not everyone will get to experience climbing a mountain, and not everyone gets the chance to perform in sold out arenas. So why is it that we as a society are so hung up on the idea that everyone will find one true love in the form of a husband or wife? And then stay with that one person until eternity?

For some reason, society has decided to enforce this ridiculous rule on itself and encouraged everyone to follow suit. For what reason? So that the divorce rate in the United States could be 40 – 50 percent according to the American Psychological Association?

The idea that every single person will find one true love, of their sexual preference, and then they will remain in a happy and loving relationship for the rest of their life is just not real. That is not to say some people will not experience this. It is also not to say that anyone who does not experience this is doing something wrong.

Society has made anyone who does not find this ideal feel like an outcast. This is what I believe forces people to settle for anyone who can create the illusion of a soul mate. They meet someone when they are young, settle because the rule is you meet your soul mate when you are young. But how is everyone going to find his or her other half by 30 years on this earth, when that isn’t even halfway through your life. There is still so much time to go other places and meet new people. I think it is possible that people rush into relationships before they have a chance to meet someone later on in life who would complete them.

Then there is also the possibility that not everyone gets to stay with their soul mate. Perhaps some people have to deal with the one that got away. Or some people are wasting their time with someone else and miss out on a chance to meet their real soul mate. But people are willing to settle for someone who isn’t everything to them. They in turn miss out on someone even greater. When it comes to your happiness, there should be no exceptions but the absolute best.

Then there is the question, who decided that everyone’s soul mate was a sexual partner? I think it is possible that some people’s soul mates come in the form of friends that have a stronger bond. We won’t all keep the same friends we have in college, let alone in kindergarten. People move, people change. Why is not as much value given to great friendships? 

All this settling for people other than a person’s “one true love” is what I believe results in so many failed marriages and destroyed child mentalities. People make a relationship work for a while and then when someone cheats or it ends badly, they blame each other instead of just looking at natural instinct.

Regardless of a natural inclination towards some connection between two people unlike any other, relationships still take work. You have to work towards changing and growing together. No higher level of connection between two people will stop them from growing and changing. They need to grow together. Think of how many people were once close in your life but are now so distant because you both changed.

People change; as time goes on and people mature, different things will interest them than they did before. Regardless of having someone meant for them this does not mean they are immune from a changing personality.

In love there are so many exceptions and rules. So many things that are set in stone, yet so many people who manage to do the complete opposite. People find love at all ages, in all shapes and sizes. They even find them in all forms; from cousins, to sisters, to friends, to lovers. As a society we need to move away from all these rules and just let people decide for themselves what makes them truly happy.

No more rushing to get married at a certain age, no more getting angry at a person when they start to change. Look in your life, you may already have a soul mate, they may not look like what people have told you they look like, but they complete you. Whether it be a friend, an aunt, a cousin, or a girlfriend. Soul mates come in all shapes and sizes and I think if you are lucky enough to have one, regardless of who they are, you are lucky enough.

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The Outlook
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The Outlook
Monmouth University
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