Evaluating Your Relationship Post-Valentine’s Day
So this one is for all of you who are having or have had relationship issues with your significant (or not-so-significant) other. We’ve all been there; the relationship is dead and done and yet here you are, stuck. Perhaps you are afraid you won’t find someone else, or that maybe this person is, in fact, your “soulmate.” Well guess what. They’re not.
So the real question is, how do you know if the relationship is over? How do you know if the love is gone? (And by “gone,” I mean it has run screaming in the opposite direction of you two lovebirds). Girls, ever had your man ignore all 17 of your phone calls when he’s “out with his boys?” Guys, ever had your girl say she was having a girls’ night and “didn’t hear her phone?” If you answered yes, I suggest you keep reading.
In today’s world, anyone who owns a cell phone has it attached to their hip. “I hate it when a girl I’m seeing ignores my calls,” said Max Weiss, 19, first-year student. If your significant other isn’t responding to your calls within a half-hour, you’ve got a problem on your hands. “From a girl’s perspective, we always have our phone on us, always,” said Kimberly Kravitz, 20, junior communication major.
Now we’ve all gotten the responding call that comes from the bathroom of some dirty club, where they can lie and tell you they are laying in bed thinking of you. That’s the best, because we all hear the echoing voice in the stall and the toilets flushing in the background. How romantic.
Chances are, your partner has come down with a bad case of “wandering eyes,” and no love doctor can solve this problem. You know what they say, once a cheater, always a cheater. There’s nothing worse than finding that text in your man’s phone from some girl you’ve never heard of telling him she had a great time last night after he told you he was visiting his nana at the retirement home. If you’ve caught your “beloved” with their tongue down someone else’s throat, they probably weren’t looking for a Tic-tac. “Cheating is the ultimate betrayal in a monogamous relationship,” said Weiss. Second chances are for the weak. It’s time to move on; there are plenty of fish in the sea. “No one deserves to be cheated on, it hurts too much,” said Kravitz.
Now this is for all of you girls. As much as we like to think of ourselves as “empowered” and “independent,” let’s face it, we all want someone who will take care of us. Chivalry is not dead, it is underrated. There is a difference between your boyfriend letting you take him to dinner and straight up freeloading. If your boyfriend doesn’t have a job, it’s time to throw in the towel and get yourself a real man. You shouldn’t be taking your unemployed dirt bag boyfriend to Fridays only to have him order beer after beer and the steak special. You are a woman, not an ATM machine.
But guys, these women are not perfect angels either. If you have been blessed with brains or family money, you’d better get ready to battle off the gold diggers that are going to come your way. If you wear glasses as thick as a double paned window and some hot blonde is even remotely interested in you, she’s a gold digger. Get ready to have your heart broken. “It’s dangerous territory when someone takes advantage of their partner’s finances, that’s not what a relationship is about,” said Michele Ventricelli, 20, junior.
Another big relationship no-no is dating the momma’s boy. No girl on the planet wants to share her boyfriend part-time with his mom. How do you know you’ve got a momma’s boy on your hands? If she still does his laundry past the age of 20, buys him a new piece of apparel any time she sees him, or if she ever asks if he’s eating enough because “he looks too skinny.” Somebody needs to tell her he’s a big boy now (and it better not be you). “I couldn’t handle dating a momma’s boy. I want a man not a boy,” said Ventricelli. And guys, stay away from those “daddy’s girls.” If you ever hear your girlfriend say she wants her husband to be just like her dad, or hear him call her “pumpkin,” you’ve found a daddy’s girl and you may as well castrate yourself now, before she does. “I want a girlfriend, not a princess,” said Weiss.
So now that you’ve got all of these wonderful tips, it’s time to get out of that relationship as fast as you can say “we’re over.” There are thousands of bachelors and bachelorettes out there; you’ve just got to find one worth your while. No one’s ever been punished for having standards and self-respect. Good luck fishing!
PHOTO COURTESY of larissathinksalot.blogspot.com
