“South Park” Makes Triumphant Return to Comedy Central

“Boner balls,” blabbered off Cartman as he welcomed viewers to the 18th season of “South Park.”

Creators of “South Park” Trey Parker and Matt Stone didn’t hesitate to jump (scratch that, dive) right into things. And boy was it beautifully and hilariously executed.

The season premiere, “Go Fund Yourself,” opened with the boys scheming a way to get rich without really having to exert much energy, as usual. After some (absurd) deliberation, an Internet Kickstarter company was named the ideal mean of achieving this goal.

Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, and Butters assumed that all a company needs is a great name to emerge into a money-making machine.

Minutes after rattling off only the filthiest, raunchiest names for the Kickstarter company, Cartman finally had an epiphany – he decided to call their company the “Washington Redskins,” since the whole “court thingy” just recently made the name available.

Capitalizing on the name “Washington Redskins,” their company exploded into a giant success overnight. But not everybody was in favor of the new Kickstarter company, especially Dan Snyder, owner of the NFL Washington Redskins.

Snyder felt Cartman was mocking the “Washington Redskins,” and was deeply offended – it was almost as if Cartman was poking fun at the team’s heritage or something. I mean really, how dare he be so cruel and dehumanizing!

Cartman assured Snyder that the company name is only meant to show their deep appreciation of Snyder’s “people.” The satire is nothing less than greatness, with “South Park” executing this at its finest.

Besides, Cartman has an incredibly legitimate excuse to continue to keep the “Washington Redskins” name: “We can’t change the name of the company, because it’s like super-hard.”

Kyle, being the most ethical and conscientious one of the group, decided to start his own company called “Furry Balls Plopped Menacingly on the Table, INC.” It’s a name that only “South Park” could devise because of its utter ridiculousness. Stan joined him in his endeavors, but then left after deciding he didn’t like the name, insisting that the title was entirely too long.

Refusing to accept Cartman’s reasoning for keeping the company name, Snyder visited Commissioner Goodell, who happened to be a robot. Unsatisfied and hungry for a solution, Snyder then turned to other NFL team owners for advice. His colleagues insisted Snyder force Cartman to change the Kickstarter company logo.

Cartman complied – but definitely not to Snyder’s standards. The increasingly vulgar and overtly sexual logos were probably (no, definitely) the highlights of this episode. I’m sorry Redskins fans, but I couldn’t help but chuckle each and every single time Cartman unveiled a new rendition to the company logo during one of his Ted Talks. Pure comedic gold, Parker and Stone. I applaud you both.


Snyder, still disgruntled by the Kickstarter program, turned to his backup plan: he birdcalled his Redskin football players into the Kickstarter headquarters office and caused chaos. Players brutally murdered employees and completely burn everything to the ground. Kickstarter is no more.

Cartman, devastated that he lost all of his money due to the extinction of Kickstarter, blamed Kyle. “Oh my God! That weird little Jewy guy! Kyle!” screamed Cartman.

As awfully offensive as “South Park” is, one can’t help but to laugh at its absurdity, but its authenticity as well. In actuality, “South Park” sheds light on a majority of the problems facing humanity today – and how undeniably outrageous some humans think. In this episode, Parker and Stone expose people and their bandwagon-ing tendencies; people just love to take a firm standpoint on issues that really don’t pertain them, but do nevertheless to conform.

Meanwhile, Redskins players are increasingly becoming more humiliated. Team spirit is no more. “I just feel stupid wearing this now,” sighed a fictional player, which then motivated the remainder of the team to quit.

Snyder, left alone, decided to single-handedly play the Dallas Cowboys. After repeatedly getting tackled, he is finally annihilated.

After the boycotting of the “Washington Redskins” Kickstarter company by an angry mob, the boys are left with nothing to do but return to South Park Elementary and pursue other silly dreams.

Although lacking any flavor in the last few minutes of the episode, the overall episode was a phenomenal start to the Season 18. Needless to say, it seems as if the wit and sass is only going to continue in future episodes.

“I might just sit here until my a** fuses into the couch,” Cartman muttered. Well, that’s exactly what I am going to be doing every Wednesday night at 10 pm to watch the airing of new episodes. High five for having the same mentality, Cartman!