Do you remember your first heartbreak? You were probably in high school or college and loved that person with all your heart. One way or another you broke up and thought you would never find love again and would grow up to have 50 cats. But guess what? You found love again, it was in fact entirely possible.
The first heartbreak is always the hardest because you don’t know what to do or how to react to get over it. Getting your heart broken is never fun, it can lead to over thinking your entire relationship and question what you did wrong and you could go into a tailspin of bad choices and carelessness.
Of course you’re going to need time after a heartbreak to sit around and feel sorry for yourself as you cry and watch Dirty Dancing on repeat. That is all completely normal after a first breakup. However, after that stage of tears and ice cream you have to figure out how to get over it and begin to think in a different mindset.
Ali Galjour, a freshman English major shares her opinion, “I think that getting over your first heartbreak is one of the hardest things anyone has to go through. The best thing to do is keep your head up, eat lots of ice cream, stick with your friends and family and always remember that there are billion of people in the world which means that someone someday will love you unconditionally.”
After your first heartbreak you’re going to feel alone in this great big world, but you aren’t at all. You have a support system of friends and family who want to see you succeed and do well in life. Relying on your family is key to getting over your first heartbreak.
Suzanna Esposito, a freshman psychology major supports the idea of turning to family during a tough time, “Focus on the positive and use this as a chance to better yourself. You’ll find your way back and you’ll be better than ever. All you need is the love you have for yourself and from your family. Have patience to ride it out for the next opportunity that will come next.”
Dr. Gary Lewandowski, professor in the psychology department can help. “Sometimes breaking up in a relationship that’s not that great is like being parroled. You’re free now, you don’t have this other person to weigh you down with negativity, nagging, asking you to change how you look, or how you act.”
This is a great mindset to have going through your first breakup. Let’s face it, the first person who you date and breaks your heart probably wasn’t your soul mate or the person you’re going to marry.
Breakups, especially the first one, can be liberating. You get to focus on yourself and take that time to figure out your values and where you want to go in life and the kind of person you want to be.
“Refocusing on yourself and rediscovering who you are accelerates coping,” Dr. Lewandowski notes. He emphasizes that after the first breakup it’s important to take time to do the things that you love but also routine activities such as going to work or hanging out with your friends.
And always remember, as Dr. Lewandowski has told us, “Relationships don’t have to leave you broken, because you’re stronger than you know.”
Editor’s Note:
In last week’s issue of The Outlook, “Overcoming Your First Heartbreak,” printed in the Lifestyles section, was attributed to Julia Burke, which was incorrect. The correct author was Hannah Dumas.
