Rock Rage Rampage

The Rock’s Rage Cannot Save Rampage

Whenever you watch a home remodeling show on HGTV, many of the contractors stress having a “wow factor” to attract buyers. When someone initially walks through the doors of a house for sale, you want them to say, “wow!”

Some things that make buyers say “wow” are a newly renovated living room, grand foyer, or if you’ve ever lived in Elmwood or Pinewood your freshman year, just the feeling of air conditioning.

When it comes to movies, the “wow factor” can be positive or negative. You can say, “wow, this movie is great” or, “wow, this sucks!”

Throughout Rampage, the “wow factor” was in full effect, but for the wrong reasons. I kept saying “wow” after every bad joke or plot hole.

Primatologist Davis Okoye, played by Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, works at a zoo and is friends with George, an albino silverback gorilla.

When George is infected by genetic material that’s fallen from outer space, the gorilla and two other animals grow to gargantuan sizes. Okoye attempts to stop these animals from destroying the city of Chicago and… the world!

Yes, it’s as ridiculous and bad as it sounds. Rampage flexes its $120 million budget with over-the-top special effects, but that’s the only redeeming quality.

When we go to the movies, it’s natural for us to leave our brains at the door and forget about the real world.

However, at Rampage’s level of stupidity, you can’t help but question the logic behind its unfunny script and ridiculousness.

There are so many bad jokes that it produces more cringe than laughs.

For example, while Okoye and his colleague are leaving the zoo, his colleague strikes up a conversation with, “so I just started using vegan deodorant.” Mind you, we’re only ten minutes in.

Another joke comes when George scares an intern at the zoo and Okoye’s colleague tells the youngster, “ok, it’s time to go. Don’t forget to check your diaper!”

It’s incredible how the script is written by four people (Ryan Engle, Carlton Cuse, Ryan J. Condal and Adam Sztykiel), yet not a single person could write a good gag. This “thinktank” couldn’t come up with a decent story either.

Rampage’s plot stretches the imagination to its fullest extent. The story makes questionable turns that’ll make you say “wow,” but with your face buried in your palm.

You’ll find yourself facepalming many times when Okoye just happens to find something in his sight that’ll help him get out of a tough spot.

There are a few instances where Okoye’s stuck in a bad situation, he looks around, then he suddenly finds a helicopter.

Not only can Okoye spot helicopters, he can fly them too. It doesn’t matter what condition the helicopter is in either. Whether it has wings or not, Okoye is flying that baby.

Okoye’s vision is so impeccable that when the city of Chicago is burning around him as three gigantic animals are tearing down buildings, he happens to spot a humvee with a key in the ignition and a loaded grenade launcher in the backseat.

This is why we lock our cars.

Agent Russell, played by Jeffrey Dean Morgan, is another character who’ll make you shake your head. Russell is someone who appears anywhere at any given time.

One moment, Russell is in a military base discussing strategy with a general. Five minutes later, Russell is in the lobby of a crashing building in Chicago.

On top of this, Russell shows up in Okoye’s needy times. I’m not sure who transports Russell around, but I’ll be submitting a complaint to the shuttle service that shows up once an hour on Saturdays to take students to the beach.

While the comedy, plot and character strengths are terrible, Rampage puts a lot of effort into special effects. The huge animals are animated well with great detail especially with George’s disgruntled face.

The big showdown in Chicago is quite the spectacle too, with buildings crashing down, pavement smashed and cars flying through the air. You know, just like any other day.

Despite the stellar effects, there’s more to Rampage about than praise. The Rock’s latest blockbuster flick is too dumb to enjoy.

Stick to watching HGTV to get the real “wow factor,” because this isn’t worth going bananas over.

IMAGE TAKEN from Screen Rant