New relationships are so fun and invigorating. You spend every waking moment with your new partner and talk about your newfound happiness 24/7. But you soon realize that you have placed your friends on the backburner. You are no longer hanging out with them and texting, snapchatting, and talking to your besties all day long.
Let’s be honest, no matter how much your boyfriend or girlfriend loves you, they do not want to spend every waking moment with you and vice versa. When you spend too much time with your partner you begin to annoy each other and fight about unimportant things. Spending time away from your partner is healthy.
You do not want to develop a co-dependent relationship, where you can’t do anything alone and your partner is your only source of happiness. You and your better half must have separate lives from each other, with your own friends where you can escape.
Letting your relationship eclipse your friendships is a major dating faux pas. Your friends should always be treated as your day-ones because they have been there for you since day one. A lot of times when people enter into new relationships they become so wrapped up in the romance and do not intentionally ignore their friends.
Sooner or later, they realize that their friends are barely speaking to them and excluding them during hangouts. That is when the FOMO seeps in. But how do you earn their friendship back?
The best way to reconcile with your besties is to talk to them in person and explain to them how wrong you have been and how sorry you are.
Admitting that neglecting them has been wrong and unfair is step one. Step two is apologizing for being such a bad friend and promising that you will always make time for them. The final step toward earning your friends back is keeping your word.
Making time for your besties is a balancing act. Your significant other and your friends both mean so much to you, so they deserve equal amounts of your attention. For college students, it is easy to make time for friends because most of the time they are your roommates.
Erika Ruscil, a junior communication student, said, “When it comes to [my boyfriend] I definitely know how to balance time with him and my friends. Also, if he comes over, we hang out with my friends for a little and then spend time with ourselves. Living with friends makes it easier to see them a lot, so I don’t feel as bad when I am with [my boyfriend].”
But even though you live with your friends, it can be hard to make time for them when school gets stressful. So, the best way to make sure you are making time for them and giving yourself a break from the stress is to plan best friend dates.
These dates could be as simple as watching Netflix, eating together on campus between classes, or doing homework together. And of course, going to get Rook or Dunkin’ before or after class with your besties is the best date of all. The most important thing to remember is your best friends will do anything with and for you, so invite them to tag along on your errands or to ride to class with you.
Erin Mullen, a junior communication student, said, “My boyfriend and I have the same friends, so it makes it easy to hang out altogether, but we do spend time by ourselves and grab food or hangout whenever our schedules aren’t conflicting. Same with my friends – I’m always running around grabbing food or shopping with them.”
Balancing the important people in your life is a challenging endeavor. Noel Belinski, a lecturer of English, said, “To be honest, I have difficulty balancing friendship with family and work. The most important thing is to make time for friends, even if it is for a cup of coffee or to spend a few minutes ‘catching up’ on the phone or in an email. I struggle with this as the challenges of life often derail plans to get together.”
Through the challenges of life, make sure that you make time for both your friends and your significant other.
PHOTO TAKEN by Jenna Puglisi
