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Ask Chloe

Every guy I start to like winds up leading me on and/or only talking to me for academic help. Why can’t I find a nice guy who shares my interests to build a relationship with? – Anonymous

Anonymous– – Finding the right person to be with takes time, and in many cases, a series of trials and errors. No matter if you have a crush, or are ready to get into a serious relationship, you have to mentally prepare yourself for this new journey.

Kim Fleming, Adjunct Instructor of Communication, advises that, “If you’re looking for a relationship perhaps start in the right place. Finding people with similar interests can be important.”

Ultimately if you are able to connect with someone who appreciates, and empathizes with your lifestyle, you will outgrow relationships where you are underappreciated. If you don’t know where to start looking for new relationships Fleming suggests using a dating app. “Certain platforms allow you to write your interests and hobbies. You can set filters for your preferences. Of course one should use their best judgement when online dating, always use caution.”

It may seem daunting at first to put yourself out into the unknown, but you may find someone who can connect with you on a mental level, rather than just physical.

Fleming continued, “Never forget communication is your best friend…Use your words to convey feelings, needs, and wants. It’s fair to ask someone what their intentions are or conversely what you are looking for or need.”

At the end of the day, you deserve to be treated with respect. Never ignore the way you are feeling, and never be afraid to speak for the way you are feeling. In the wise words of Carrie Bradshaw, “If you find someone to love the you, you love, well that’s just fabulous.”

Good Luck,


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PHOTO COURTESY of Monmouth University