During this Valentine’s Day season, it’s important to remember that you can’t love another person until you love yourself. Easier said than done, right?
Bella Buono, a junior Interdisciplinary Studies in Elementary Education and Students with Disabilities major, here at Monmouth University, published a children’s book about the very subject of self-love and believing in yourself.
“A Love Letter to You” tells the story of a girl standing in front of the mirror, having one of those days where she doesn’t love the version staring back at her. Buono writes, “You sit there in tears when you don’t like the view, in hopes that the mirror could show something new.” We’ve all been there, haven’t we?
Then, the girl starts embracing what makes her different, like her facial features, body, and personality. “A Love Letter to You” leaves the reader with a sense of closure, as the girl has found her place and understands that she is highly unique and rare. A life lesson that is so impactful, especially for young adults and children.
Buono was inspired by her own struggles as a young girl and how it impacted her in about every aspect of her life. “My insecurities often impacted my academic abilities and performance in the classroom. I never allowed myself to see my full potential. Now, as an adult and future educator, being on the other side of the school system has given me insight into the challenges that children face at such a young age,” she said. She was able to learn from her own personal experiences as well as study them, which has helped her foster new creativity, as in this book.
Buono explained how she never thought she would publish a children’s book in college. The idea randomly came to her one night, as so many great ideas do, and she couldn’t get it out of her head. From there, she started writing and learned more about how to make her vision come to life. After all, a lot of hard work, time, and dedication go into publishing a book.
Not only did the writing need to come to life, but the illustrations as well. A children’s book is nothing without the artwork to draw in the reader. Amy Tremer, also a full-time student, worked with Buono to give “A Love Letter to You” a heartbeat through her illustrations.
While Buono never wanted to be solely a writer, she was always musically inclined, which can be seen and heard through the rhyme scheme of the book. “Since this book is geared towards children, my writing and the text follow an arithmetic, poetic flow…I never considered myself more so of a deep literature writer, but I think my connections to music and singing over the years helped with the writing process,” she said.
One of my favorite parts of the book is towards the end. The girl finally realizes she is perfect the way she is and her possibilities are endless. Her story is just beginning, and she has so much love to give. Buono wrote, “This girl in the mirror has so much to share, and all of her qualities are so uniquely rare! It shows that you’re perfect in your own special way, and celebrates who you are every single day? So when you look in the mirror, make sure you stop and see that the person looking back is as amazing as can be!”
I think the most special thing about this book is how it’s able to concisely get across the message of self-love. The topic is timeless and relevant not only to the age demographic of the book but also to people from all walks of life. Self-love is a topic that clearly means a lot to Buono, as a person and as a future educator.
“In young children, a lot of bullying and disrespect stems from children not feeling comfortable in their own skin, so they feel the need to take it out on others. When you take that extra step to consider the feelings of others, or do an act of kindness, it proves not only to yourself, but to others that you are comfortable enough with yourself to spread love to others because you know it is the right thing to do,” she said.
Buono explained how self-love is not only compassion for yourself but also compassion for others because of that. Of course, everyone has their insecurities, but there are always things to love and explore about yourself. It’s all about what makes us special because that is what makes us human.
With that in mind, “A Love Letter to You” also explores how to have a healthy mindset. The practice of affirmations and training your brain to think in a healthy way is so important for both young and old alike. Buono incorporated all of this into the book.
She said, “I think it is important for all to utilize the affirmations in this book because it allows readers to let go of relatable feelings. This book also exemplifies a sense of unity and understanding that your feelings are valid. Healthy mental habits of reassurance that can be shared through this book are emotional resilience and growth.”
“A Love Letter to You” is geared toward ages 4-12, but the themes within can resonate with us college students. College is about learning who you are and where you wanna go in life. This is exactly what the little girl in the book thinks about as she finds the courage to be inspired by herself. Discovering yourself and learning to love all your faults is what most of us college students experience. It’s a scary time but the end result is worth it.
Buono offered her advice and said, “Trust the process, be patient with yourself, and remember that growth often happens after trial and error, and when you become your biggest advocate.”
It’s all about creating a healthy mindset and trying to improve how we view ourselves. I love that Buono is able to articulate all of this so clearly in her book. I can imagine a child reading this book, looking to it for advice, and letting that lead them through being a kid. With over 100 copies sold, Buono is looking toward continuing to advocate and spread the word about healthy self-love habits.
And Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. So don’t let the overwhelming amount of couples on social media impact your view on life. “It is so important to remember that Valentine’s Day, like any day, is temporary; everything passes…It is so easy to feel discouraged, but you can also spend the day of love as an opportunity to spoil yourself!! Keep busy by doing things that make you happy, and surround yourself with people who make you feel loved…Your moment and connection will arrive when the time is right. It will be worth the wait,” Buono said.
So sit back and relax. There’s plenty of time to find the right one, but before then, focus on developing the healthy mindset Buono depicts in her book. It’s not too late to find your love for yourself; you just have to find the courage to love what’s in the mirror.
