Have you ever felt like life knocked you down so hard you couldn’t get back up? You’re not alone. How exhausting is it to constantly see or hear others telling you to keep a positive mindset? Simply keeping a positive mindset is easier said than done. This is especially the case when you’re going through stressful times. College is a major example of a period of time where things aren’t easy and falling into negative mindsets is more common. Undergrad is filled almost entirely with young adults who are just trying to find their way in life. Quite frankly, it’s not just young adults figuring themselves out though either. It’s everyone! Adjusting to a new environment, new friends, new classes, or any type of new experiences can make it hard to keep a positive mindset. Especially when something isn’t going the way you envisioned, that’s when it begins to feel almost impossible.
Here is your guide to bouncing back from anything “negative” life throws at you:
Reframe the situation:
I would say this is one of the most beneficial steps in staying positive. If something bad happens to you it is very easy to ask “Why me?”, but instead you should rephrase it as “What can I learn from this?” You can learn something from every single experience. This is important to remember because all life is, is experiences! For example, if you got cheated on you may feel like your world has ended and cannot help but ask why. You have every right to feel negative about it however you can learn from it as well. You can look back on the relationship and note things you may have discovered about yourself throughout it. You can even appreciate the experience you got to have as a whole.
Lean on your support system:
Going through tough times can make it hard for you to want to reach out to people but this is when it’s important to not isolate yourself (even if that’s all you want). Humans are wired for connection. Spending time with others can, at the least, take your mind off of the negative. You don’t even have to share what you’re going through, just staying involved in the community can keep you from wallowing in sadness. Additionally, if you do have a support system you feel comfortable sharing your experience with it could provide a sense of relief. Sharing your feelings with them could open up opportunities for new perspectives or coping mechanisms that you wouldn’t have previously thought of on your own.
Remember that you are small:
What I mean by remembering that you are “small” is that you need to keep in mind all of your problems seem extraordinarily bigger than they actually are. In our minds we can make an entirely normal problem seem like the end of our existence. You have to zoom out of your experiences and see the bigger picture. Keep in mind that every single person on earth is mortal, meaning we all one day won’t be here. This can be used as a reassuring thought because it can remind you that somebody once before has more likely than not been in your situation before and lived through it. For example, you dropped out of college. You may feel like this is the end of the road. It’s scary because it means your plan didn’t go as you envisioned and now perhaps you are embarrassed to tell people. The truth is YOU ARE SO SMALL. This has happened to many other people before you and will after but because it’s happening to you, it feels way bigger.
Use it as fuel:
Lastly, if life gives you a negative situation you need to use it as fuel for pushing forward. A phrase that could be seen as a little harsh but once helped me out of a negative state is “It’s alright to be broken but it’s not alright to let it consume you”. I love to remember that quote because going through a rough patch can make you feel broken which is okay. The issue lies in if you let those negative feelings hold you back from living. You have to stop letting the negativity consume your life and instead let it build you. Let the bad thing happen and move on. Take what you’ve learned from reframing the situation and use it to set your next goals and gain momentum. Every step that you take to learn from the experience contributes to rebuilding your confidence! In the end it can all just be one chapter in your book that helped you get to the next.
Life can be hard sometimes but now you know that bouncing back from anything in life is possible. It all just starts with your mindset! Remember to be gentle with yourself and others.
