Last updateThu, 18 Jan 2018 3am


So You Didn’t Cheat, but You Did

The meaning of dating has changed so many times that it’s hard to keep track anymore. Millennia’s have stretched the term ‘dating’ to the furthest contexts, to the point where “Netflix and chill” could even be considered a first date these days. Imagine explaining “Netflix and chill” to your grandparents who lived in a time where dating meant actually going on dates. Dating as in getting picked up at the front door, going to the movie theatre, actually watching the movie, kissing goodnight on the porch, and waiting for a call saying he had a good time. Back when there were no cell phones, relationships started with actual attraction and communication in person rather than scrolling through Tinder and hoping a hook up turns into more. The way we fall in love and fall out of love has changed so drastically over the years that it only makes sense that cheating has as well.

The problem with cheating is that no one knows what cheating means anymore. There’s no universal decision about what constitutes as cheating. Many people would consider having sex with someone else to be cheating, but obviously there are many different forms of physically cheating. Even flirting crosses some type of line despite the fact that there’s no physical boundary being passed. The act of physically cheating on someone is discussed so often that emotional cheating is often unheard of. Maybe your boyfriend or girlfriend didn’t have sex, make out, or even kiss someone else, but they’ve been thinking about someone else since they met him or her. What does that count as? It’s emotionally cheating.

Being in a relationship means undoubtedly loving someone for who they are and the person you are when you’re with them. The second you start thinking of someone else, it cannot possibly be justified that you still love your boyfriend or girlfriend. You may love them but you aren’t in love with them. If you were, the thought of being with anyone else would never cross your mind.

Imagine if the person you love started thinking about or wanting someone else. It would hurt and you would ask yourself why you aren’t enough anymore. Eventually thinking about someone else will turn into more. It starts with flirting, leads to texts late at night, and eventually you hang out with this person who you aren’t in a relationship with because maybe you need to get away, or maybe you actually care about the “other” person. This leads to the question of how much you really do care about the “other” person. If you thought in your mind that maybe this could be right, the “other” person doesn’t deserve to think that it could be right as well. You’ve been withholding the truth about who you really are. You’re someone who’s taken, someone who would be off limits if only the “other” person had known.

It starts with emotionally cheating and quickly after follows physically cheating, so why not break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend before it gets to that extreme? If the person you’re with isn’t making you happy anymore, why stay? The easy excuse is that you didn’t want to hurt the person you supposedly love. Of course ending a relationship is going to hurt but it’s going to hurt even more when they find out someone else was part of your life the entire time. Your boyfriend or girlfriend respects you enough to trust that you would never cheat on them, and they deserve for that to stay true.

Break ups happen and everyone experiences the pain that comes from it. It’s okay to realize the person you’re with isn’t meant to be in your life forever. What’s not okay is cheating on them knowing they aren’t meant for forever. The person you’re cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend with could be that person who should’ve been there forever, and now you lost that chance too. You owe it to yourself, your significant other, and the “other” person to be faithful, because no one deserves to feel like they weren’t good enough anymore.

Contact Information

The Outlook
Jules L. Plangere Jr. Center for Communication
and Instructional Technology (CCIT)
Room 260, 2nd floor

The Outlook
Monmouth University
400 Cedar Ave, West Long Branch, New Jersey

Phone: (732) 571-3481 | Fax: (732) 263-5151