Opinion

That Awkward Moment When... Your Boyfriend Leaves You to be Eaten by Jaws

My hands glide through the water as I pretend to not clumsily paddle deeper into the ocean.

The foam surfboard is underneath me, the sun beaming high above me, and my boyfriend’s glistening in sweat and salt water a couple feet beside me.

My bikini has never looked so good against my smooth tan skin.

I sit up straddling my board and look back towards shore.

It’s the most perfect day a girl could ask for.

I gaze at my boyfriend as he paddles to catch a wave; his arms outstretched showcasing his hardworking muscles.

His wet hair whips back as he jumps up on the board and rides effortlessly to shore.

I’m immediately thrown into a daydream where I’m a helpless city girl visiting the beach who gets swept away. My boyfriend must swim after me, his arms paddling viciously against the cruel ocean.

Wave after wave crashes over me as time dwindles on his life saving mission.

He finally reaches me, his hands strongly taking hold of my weak body. “I’ve got you,” he whispers in my ear as he guides me back to land.

Reaching the sand, he carries me to safety, my body too weak from its battle with the ocean.

He gently lays me on the sand, holding my head in his lap.

“You look like you could use some CPR,” he says with a wink before he slowly brings his mouth down on mine.

My train of thought is interrupted as he paddles back to where I am, “Are you going to try to catch a wave?”

Thrust back into reality, I turn back towards the ocean, looking for my perfect wave.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see him running his hands through his long tangled hair as he watches the water.

The sun reflects off his chest, and my mind is immediately thrown to Edward Cullen. I imagine my boyfriend as a sparkly vampire.

My thoughts of glitter fall apart as a fin rips through my daydream and reality splashes me hard in the face.

Five feet in front of me is a predator longing for my tasty tan flesh.

I look to my boyfriend a couple feet beside me and instead of a calm articulate sentence, I yelp “FIN!”

He looks at me and says tranquilly, “Slowly paddle to shore.”

In the instant that I turn to look at the creature who has decided to put me on his lunch menu and back at my boyfriend, he has already paddled to shore.

That S.O.B. Thank God it was only a dolphin.