Is It Those Nostalgic Memories That Define Our Friendships?
Friendship, a relationship between two people, who hold mutual affection for one another; a shared bond that makes someone who is not blood related, feel like family. What in the world would we be without our friends, right? Remember That Time?
They are people who share similar interests, listen to our problems and give advice; the ones who support and encourage us and share many memories, tears, and smiles.
Have you ever wondered what exactly caused you and your best buddies to build such a relationship? As we all move forward in our lives, our environments change and we meet new people, build new friendships, and lose touch with others. That is why the subject of friendship can be so interesting. It can be described as the study of sociology, psychology, anthropology, philosophy, and even zoology.
Such a controversial subject proposes various theories on what really causes friends to be friends. Take the social exchange theory for example: a sociological perspective that explains friendship as a subjective cost-benefit inquiry. In other words, it insinuates that social behavior is the result of an exchange process. If the risks outweigh the rewards, people will vacate that friendship; if the risks are outweighed by benefits, then people will cherish that relationship. “You’ll find that your most positive relationships are ones in which the benefits outweigh the costs. You’re best friends, as you could say,’’ said Michael Pirrotta, psychology professor.
Others would say that it is the foundation that really matters. The value of compassion, understanding, honesty, trust, reciprocity, etc., the list can go on forever. These are the basic fundamentals to developing a true, lasting friendship. Seniors Nicole Fera and Rachel Gentry defined what makes them best friends. “It’s those memories of jamming out in the car or staying up till four in the morning just talking about life,” said Gentry.
“Or like that time we were racing to the car and you tripped and knocked your tooth out,” laughed Fera in response.
For these two girls, friendship was all about the memories they’ve shared over the past eight years: the good and the bad, the ups and the downs.
From a psychological perspective, friendships are considered the most vital relationships in the emotional life cycle of adolescents. “By building these bonds with others, pleasure and happiness are satisfied, and that is why we pursue such a connection,” explained Pirrotta. By experiencing good qualities of friendship, self-esteem is heightened, self-confidence is obtained and social development increases. We are more comfortable and accepting of who we are as individuals if we find others who are practically the same.
“We’ve been friends since, I don’t know, second grade? We did track together our whole lives and just built a friendship from practicing, traveling and competing together,” said Dakota Dalzell about his friendship with best friend, Eric Thames.
Sharing similar interests, participating in sports, clubs, or activities, being assigned the same classes or living arrangements are all open invitations for a friendship to begin. “We’ve just always been there for each other and we always will be,” expressed Gentry, proof of a typical best friendship.
A study from Perdue University found that friendships that began during post-secondary school years last longer than the friendships before it. The friends you have now may very well be your friends forever.
Fera explained it best: “When you have a bond like that with someone, it’s unspoken; that person has your back and you’ve got theirs, no matter what.”
We rely on our friendships to get through the hardships of life and to share the happiness; without friends, it’d be much harder to define and accept who we are as individuals
IMAGE TAKEN from s2.favim.com
