There’s a question that I’ve considered since before I entered college four years ago. What does it mean for a girl to be a “slut”? The word is so vague, yet used in so many contexts, which are almost always negative.
Don’t get me wrong, I’ve used the word countless times. More often than not, I say it with no harm intended to my friends. And I know I’m guilty of looking in the mirror before the bar and asking my friends if my outfit was too “slutty” without even considering the negative connotations associated with it.
Just last month, a Bloomsburg University baseball player attacked famous Little Leaguer and thirteen year old, Mo’ne Davis, on Twitter. He tweeted “Disney is making a movie about Mo’Ne Davis? WHAT A JOKE. That ‘slut’ got rocked by Nevada.” Really, how is Mo’ne Davis by any means a “slut?”
“Slut” by Google definition: “a woman who has many casual sexual partners.” I’m going to go ahead and say Mo’Ne Davis is the farthest thing from that.
“Slut shaming” is an unfortunate part of society in general; the word gets tossed around idiotically like in these instances. But “slut shaming” has been specifically apparent and malicious during college.
Fingers are pointed at the girl doing the walk of shame from the dorms the morning after. Or the girl who got too drunk at a party and stumbled upstairs with someone. We are simply accustomed to using “slut” as an insult to young women. Putting this label on someone undermines their sexuality as well as our own (for the lady readers). It mocks a female for having sex. If you call a girl a “slut,” you’re essentially criticizing her for having sex.
And anyway, what does being a “slut” even entail? It seems like no one can really figure it out. Everyone has his or her own definition. I was called a “whore” by a fling because I snap chatted myself with other guys in the bar. I know girls who get called these names because they won’t sleep with a guy (makes sense).
I’ve heard my guy friend put a certain number on it. “Oh, I wouldn’t touch her if she’s had sex with over five guys.” My friend’s little sister just got dumped because her boyfriend asked how many partners she’s had and it was too high for his liking. So, is there an insinuation between number of partners and cleanliness?
Well, Google does also define the word “slut” as “a woman with low standards of cleanliness.” Sure, the more partners someone has means the more risk for sexually transmitted diseases (STD’s).
However, the logic of avoiding sleeping with a girl because of this doesn’t necessarily make sense. You could sleep with one person and have herpes for life or you could sleep with 50 and somehow end up in the clear.
It’s 2015 though and feminists are not hushing up about these unfair labels anymore. Recently, Monica Lewinsky, President Bill Clinton’s infamous 90s mistress, gave a TED talk about how she was branded a “slut” during the scandal.
According to MSNBC, Lewinsky said, “I was branded as a ‘tramp,’ ‘tart,’ ‘slut,’ ‘whore,’ a ‘bimbo.’ I was seen by many but actually known by few. And I get it, it was easy to forget, that that woman was dimensional, had a soul…”
While the double standard when it comes to ladies and gentlemen who have sex has certainly been debated (guys get locker room high fives, girls get judged), it doesn’t mean guys are the only ones making “sluts” feel guilty.
Women are 100 percent to blame for this too. Girls will call another chick a “slut” because the kid they’re hooking up with “liked” her Instagram picture. Or, she wore that crop top to the party? Oh, what a “slut.” When in reality, we probably know nothing about her sexual escapades.So, what’s with the judgments?
And more importantly, aside from not having the knowledge about someone’s sex life, why do we care? It’s not our life. It doesn’t affect us.
Now, I can see how these negative labels would come up in some instances, such as Monica Lewinsky’s, when a third party’s sexual advances interfere with a relationship.
But, instead of shaming these people, use it as an opportunity to just bite your tongue and thank them for exposing the problems in your relationship. It’s likely a blessing in disguise, because a relationship probably isn’t functioning too well if a third party can come in and interfere so easily.
I get that we senselessly throw around the word “slut” and sometimes that might be with no harm intended, but we have to stop associating a woman’s enjoyment of sex with being bad.
Stop caring about who is sleeping with who. As author Donald. L Hicks wrote, “People who judge others tell more about who they are, than who they judge.”
IMAGE TAKEN from HerCampus.com
