When I was in high school, I’d often get asked a variation of the same, seemingly burning question: “What are your plans for the weekend?” At the time, I could rely on my family as an excuse. A quick, “No, sorry, I have plans with my family this weekend,” or my ultimate favorite, “My mom said no,” were my go-to’s. I was never one to enjoy leaving the house, especially when I could be doing homework and getting ahead on assignments. Now, as a 21-year-old college student, the only thing that’s changed is that I’m much more honest about why I won’t be going out.
Being a college student as portrayed in movies and shows is a fun experience wrapped in a glittery blanket. Young adults in college are students by day, but by night, they all seem to know exactly where to go and who to hang out with. I’ve tried to give it a shot, but I can’t seem to conform to that type of socially engaged lifestyle.
I used to be embarrassed about it, not wanting to disappoint anyone by saying I wouldn’t come out with them. But the truth I’ve learned is that it’s okay to not be a socially active college student. If you’re reading this and feel you might have a similar way about you, then you may just be a solo scholar like me.
On Mondays, I start my day with a to-do list of assignments mapped out. Since one of my classes is strictly online, time management and staying on task is key, and I’ve found this to-do list setup is the best way to keep on track. I know that taking five classes isn’t the norm on campus, but as someone with a full 15-credit load, time is everything. If I can focus and finish my assignments on schedule, then I get to spend what’s left over doing what I actually like—nothing!
I usually have every assignment done days before it’s due—sometimes even 1-2 weeks ahead if time permits. It’s not an easy feat, and I’m well aware of how crazy it sounds; I can practically picture the looks on my classmates’ faces when they ask if I’ve started an assignment and I say, “Yeah, I did it last week.” For me, getting my work done ahead of time means freeing up my schedule to tackle assignments for the following weeks or even to study for something that isn’t urgent yet, but would be nice to get a head start on.
Sometimes, I even have professors—now and in the past—emailing me to let me know I have way more time to finish an assignment, concerned that I thought it was due sooner. I always reply, “I know, but it was open, so I thought, might as well do it!” I feel a sense of relief when I have things off my plate or open some room to get in some extra studying. When I hear about some classmates who submit things the night they are due, I get panicked! I couldn’t imagine doing school any other way than above and beyond, early, and extra, because that’s just me!
Why does this all-or-nothing academic lifestyle appeal to me and so many others? I’ve found that the satisfaction of earning an A on an assignment, test, or project gives me a sense of fulfillment and progress that a night out rarely could. It’s more than just a grade—it’s a result of my hard work and dedication. While social events might offer a few hours of fun, the pride in knowing I’ve put my best effort into my studies stays with me long after.
For many college students like myself, life is already very crazy and hectic, and sometimes beyond overwhelming. The one thing I know I can control are my grades and how much effort I put into staying in that category of success. Every awesome grade I receive is just one step closer to my future career I have been dreaming of for so long.
To some people, staying home on a Friday night seems like torture, but for me, It’s bliss. After a long week of juggling clinical hours, classes and their workload, and a job, the last thing I want to do is leave the comfort of my house. Yes, my bed is my favorite place to be!
You should not feel bad for not enjoying the same things as your fellow classmates or people your age. I have much more fun reading my books and studying than I do leaving my room. On rare occasions, I’ll attend a Monmouth University event, like the super fun Fall Fest I went to with one of my classmates and dear friend, Alexandra Elek. I can get out of my shell a bit while remaining true to myself.
You can create any balance of school and life as you see fit! College after all, is for experimenting and becoming unapologetically you. I think it’s important we each find what makes sense for us, and what truly helps us. I have learned valuable skills like time management, self-discipline and have seen amazing results, but it may not work for everyone, and that is totally fine too!
So, if you’re someone who finds more joy in curling up with a book or crossing off tomorrow’s to-do list today, embrace it. College isn’t one-size-fits-all. It’s your journey, and you have every right to make it one that suits your true self. For me, that means choosing a path of introverted excellence, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
