Ask the Experts

I was recently involved in a car accident that was definitely not my fault. The other driver seems like a nice enough person, but she made a big mistake, and now I’m dealing with stuff like medical bills (my parents are taking care of a lot of this for me, but I feel bad about it, because they obviously had nothing to do with the accident!). What I’m wondering is: should I consider a lawsuit here to try to get some money to help with the bills? I don’t want to hurt the other driver, but I also don’t want my parents to bear an unfair financial burden. How will I know if I have a case? How much money could I get? Experts, please help!

It sounds as if you’ve been put in a tough position through no fault of your own. It’s natural to want to be compensated by the person who really was at fault. Getting the money you deserve should be a simple thing, right?

I’ve always been a person with a lot of stuff. I don’t know why that is, exactly–maybe I just buy too much stuff, or maybe I have too much trouble throwing things away. I don’t know. All I know is that I never feel like I have enough space! Sometimes I’ll buy a book on organizing or downsizing, but all that ever seems to do is just add a book to the piles of stuff that I have. It drives my parents nuts, and it bothers my roommates, too. And, of course, it bothers me! How can I get more space and organize my stuff better? What advice to the experts have for people looking to cut down on their clutter?

You’re not alone! Many of us have too much stuff–and, for a lot of us, that can be a source of stress.

I’m in my last year of school, so it’s time for me to start thinking about my life as a “real adult!” One thing I’m not sure I’m ready for is having my own place. I’ve never rented my own apartment before, and I don’t think I’ll be ready to buy a home, obviously. What […]

A college education isn’t cheap, and I am accumulating a lot of loans here. Lately, I’ve been wondering if it’s all worth it. Don’t get me wrong, I value an education–I really want to learn and I really want to succeed in school. But from a cost-benefit perspective, I’m less and less sure this is worth it with each passing day. My friends who have graduated are overburdened by student loans, and some of them aren’t earning enough to manage both their living expenses and their loan payments. I wonder if I should have just gotten a job after high school instead of going to college. Statistically speaking, what’s the reality here? Do college graduates really make enough to justify these huge student loan burdens?

I don’t sleep very well at night. I know that a lot of college kids don’t get the sleep they’re supposed to, but I feel like I’m really trying, and it’s just not happening! Maybe it’s that I’m in an unfamiliar place, but I always feel uncomfortable and distracted. It’s either too hot or too cold, it’s too loud, it’s too bright… Day after day, I wake up feeling like I didn’t sleep at all. Can the experts give me any tips on getting a good night’s rest? 

I’m a nervous flyer, but not for the reasons you might think. I’m not scared of taking off, flying, or landing, but I’m uneasy about how much of our privacy we give up when we take to the skies. I don’t like going through security, and I hate that so much of my private information is in the airlines’ computers at a time when so many other companies are getting hacked. And I hate the feeling that someone else might take my luggage, or that TSA agents will go through it even before it hits the conveyor belt–I don’t feel good until I get the bag back in my hand! Can the experts provide any advice?

I’m not a very frivolous person. In fact, most of my friends think I need to lighten up a little–and, to be fair, they’re probably right. But for whatever reason, this is just who I am! I accept that, and I accept that my sense of fun is going to be a little different from everyone else’s. I don’t like wasting time–I’d rather spend time getting better at something or learning something than watching a movie or having a drink. 

I recently found out that in my whole group of friends here, I’m the only one who regularly schedules dentist appointments. A few of my friends still go to the dentist, but only because their parents schedule appointments for them. The rest don’t go at all!

I don’t get it. My parents had me calling to schedule my own dentist’s appointments and doctor’s appointments since I was very young, and they made it clear that it was important to go. My friends may not have been so lucky, but I’m shocked by the result. Is it common for people to skip things like dental care as adults? What can I do to get my friends back on the right track?

Making regular appointments with doctors, dentists, and relevant specialists is a huge part of living a healthy life. It’s important to be healthy in your personal life, too, of course, and we should all eat healthy and exercise. But we can’t wait until we’re sick to visit the doctor, or until we have a cavity to visit the dentist–that’s a path to pricier care and worse overall health, professionals say. It’s a shame, then, that only about 65 percent of adults regularly go to the dentist. Numbers related to medical care are a bit better, but still not great: we should all be visiting our primary care physician, our dentist, and relevant specialists at least once a year.

I have a lot of bad habits. You can probably guess some of them: I drink too much, I don’t get enough sleep, stuff like that. On top of the normal college issues, I also smoke. And there’s some other stuff, but I don’t want to get too much into it. Instead, I want to ask the experts about a way out of it all. I’ve been reading about habit triggers and replacing habits. The idea is that you find out when and why you’re doing something unhealthy and replace the habit with some new habit based on the same “trigger.” My question is: does it work? And if so, how do I know what new activity to choose to replace each old habit?

The concept you’re referring to is a popular one in self-help circles, psychology studies, and among countless individuals–and there is some evidence that it does work. The process works as you describe: you pick a habit and track it, identify moments that you choose to indulge the habit, and look for consistent triggers. Then you attempt to replace the habit with something healthier. Perhaps, for instance, one might realize that he or she eats unhealthy foods when bored. That person could then pay extra attention to feelings of boredom and, when they strike, try to quickly exercise. Ideally, this person will find that whatever reward they got from eating bad foods is present as well, in exercise–perhaps both things distract them from feeling lonely. If that’s the case, perhaps the habit can be replaced.

A storm hit my hometown over the summer and really did a number on my parents’ house (my old childhood home), particularly the roof. My parents, of course, called up their insurance company right away. But the insurance company was just awful, and didn’t really tell them anything, so they got it fixed themselves and then went back to the insurance company to get reimbursed–only to get more arguments and more denials. It’s been terrible for their finances, which are already a little strained with me in school and the holidays coming up. I’m so frustrated for them, and I don’t understand why insurance companies are allowed to deny claims for little nit-picky reasons. Shouldn’t there be laws against this? How can my parents fight back?

Insurance is something that we want to have but hope never to need, and when we do have to make a claim, the process can be frustrating–and sometimes unfair.