Last updateWed, 28 Feb 2018 12pm


What is Love? How to Not Let Your Baby Hurt You No More

What is LoveLove is an emotion that so many people have attempted to understand, but have failed. With the feeling of love so much more impactful than anything, love has taken over the minds of a vast majority of college students.

The modern concept of love is somewhat of a challenge; how does one get past the communication hurdle or how does one know when there is true love? These difficulties hinder the minds of people wanting to accept love, causing them to overthink and not accept when love is right in front of them.

However, the question remains, what is love? Love is the intense and deep feelings of affection. Usually, this fondness is shared between people. In addition, true love brings loyalty and trust between the partners involved; love is not something someone can go to the store and buy, but it is something that people must let come to them by itself. When in love, there should not be a reward or a punishment, but more so an everyday feeling and admiration for someone else. With all of these components, misunderstandings and mistakes can be seen as inevitable.

To begin, communicating between partners is a tricky portion of love. In the 21st century, technology has strained the smoothness of communication that times before did not have; for example, social media apps such as Tinder and Snapchat have contributed to this. Though Tinder was made for people who wanted to find love, often times it is used as a hook up outlet for its users.

Since Tinder’s showcasing in 2012, it has found a new meaning, but there are still a few who would rather keep the traditional views of the dating app and use it to find a real partner and love interaction.

Due to the miscommunication between the users looking for a late-night hook up and the users interested in finding a relationship, there have been many times where two people have different ideas of what they want to come out of using the app, leading one or both to be disappointed.

Emma Blair, a sophomore business student said, “It’s difficult to find someone who is looking for the same kind of love as you. Most aren’t looking for anything at all, others want to walk you down the aisle by next week. Each person has their own balance that suits them most. Most people are in fear of making mistakes or being rejected. It takes effort and compromise which some people are not willing to put in.”

Another example as to how technology can cause missteps in relationships is the implementation of Snapchat. With the ability of pictures and videos disappearing after a short amount of time, many have found themselves receiving inappropriate photos/videos. This allows people to easily cheat and/or make users of this app very uncomfortable and unsafe.

Shannon McGorty, a freshman health studies student, said, “Communication is definitely messed up when it comes to people today. Not only does technology make this happen, but also, so do boys and girls who give mixed signals. I had a guy last semester give me so many signs that he liked me; over and over again I was receiving signs, but when I acted on it, he told me that he never liked me.”

The way people act toward others is another communication error. If a person does not like another person, but leads them on as if they do, so many problems can arise from that one decision of leading them on.

It is understandable that one may not want to seem mean or rude for being open about their likes and dislikes toward someone else. But with that being said, the questions that come about are: would someone rather be upfront about their feelings and have the other understand that they have no chance, or would someone rather lead the other person on, keeping them in the dark and have them be angry and upset later on?

Alongside the communication gaps, there is a community of people who do not like putting themselves out into the dating world due to lack of trust and understanding the truth of a relationship. How does someone know if their partner is being honest when there are so many ways for the person to be dishonest? The answer to this question is having faith in the other person.

Though this may not always work, it is the first step to take. Matthew Jones, a freshman computer science student, evaluated his trust in his long-distance relationship with his girlfriend Rachel, who is still in high school. “I don’t know if she cheats on me, but I have to just put my trust out there. It goes both ways, though. She has no idea if I do anything with other girls. I don’t, but she has to just trust that I don’t.”

Being in the mindset of the unknown is uncomfortable and scary, but talking to your partner is the key to everything. If someone is unhappy, explaining the emotions and feelings behind those feelings to the other is necessary if the relationship wants to be healthy. The same goes for happiness; expressing joy to the other shows that they can trust the other person.

Love can be problematic, but if gone about in the right ways, it can be amazing. Keeping trust and honesty in mind while leaving bad communication and uncertainty away from the relationship is the route to take.

For those students who are single, do not give up because of a bad experience; keep trying and have a positive mindset. Although the ride may have many bumps in the road, the end will be amazing.

PHOTO TAKEN by Nicole Riddle

Contact Information

The Outlook
Jules L. Plangere Jr. Center for Communication
and Instructional Technology (CCIT)
Room 260, 2nd floor

The Outlook
Monmouth University
400 Cedar Ave, West Long Branch, New Jersey

Phone: (732) 571-3481 | Fax: (732) 263-5151