How to Heal Your Hangover: A Step-by-Step Guide

You wake up on the wrong side of the bed. At least you’re in a bed. You have to rub your eyes a few times before they actually open. You’re still wearing the same shirt as last night! How could you do such a thing? There’s your shoes, sprawled out across the floor along with your wallet. You reach for your phone. It’s 10 am and you’ve got four missed calls, 10 texts, and five percent battery left. You always charge your phone before bed! What were you thinking? Oh wait, you weren’t thinking. And then you realize that it’s too early and your head is pounding to the beat of some techno song you heard last night. Yup, you definitely should have resisted that last Tequila Sunrise.

Probably one of the worst feelings in the world, a hangover can sometimes trump the common cold or stomach flu. It’s not recognized as an illness, but it definitely should be. For anyone who has ever experienced the wrath of a hangover, you probably agree—it is miserable. There is arguably no cure for the monster either, but there are ways to make it go away faster (or at least make yourself feel like it will).

1. Drink Water

It’s pretty obvious that you drank one too many cups of Moscato last night. You may have temporarily forgotten what water is, but find a big glass of the H2O quickly. And drink it quickly. Nothing feels better the morning after alcohol consumption than consuming a day’s worth of water. And add ice. Water always tastes better on the rocks.

2. Go Back to Sleep

This may be the first time you’re being given advice to actually return to your bed. Take advantage of this opportunity. Hit the snooze button if you don’t have anywhere to be. What would be better to avoid a hangover than a dream about Ryan Gosling asking you to dinner? It’ll be disappointing when you wake up and realize your mind made that whole part up. But, at least you’ll feel a little better about last night.

3. Go for a Run

Does anyone really like running? I’m not sure if Olympic athletes even enjoy the sport. But, it’s beneficial. Besides clearing your mind, running helps you to burn calories and keep your heart healthy (there are no guarantees for your liver). If you work up a sweat, you will feel the beer escaping from your pores and you will feel like a new person. Plus, you’ll be proud of yourself when you’ve finished the mile.

4. Eat Carbs

Say goodbye to your no-carb diet for the day. Carbohydrate foods will allow your body to soak up all the alcohol lying around in there. Stock up on bread, whether it is in the form of a bagel or even a whole loaf of Italian. Many people swear by greasy foods as a hangover cure, so use this as an excuse to pile that bagel with bacon. Hey, you just went for a run anyway.

5. Drink More

This is definitely not the smartest idea, nor the best way to try and cure your symptoms. However, it will ease the pain. Who doesn’t love a good mimosa in the morning? It’s orange juice! (And champagne…) Just know you’ve been warned, this will only turn into another hangover later on when you’re trying to do homework or watch reruns of “Friends.”

6. Take Ibuprofen

This is the last straw. The water bottle is empty. The run is over. The Baconator is eaten. Yet, you still feel horrible. Look to your good friend Advil to turn your day around. It may take a little while to kick in, but it’s your best bet in curing the pain that comes along with a vicious hangover.

7. Depend on Time

Time heals all wounds. Even the one in your head, your stomach, and all over the rest of your body. Father Time is the only one who will assure your hangover is 100 percent cured. It’ll also give you time to think about never drinking again, which will seem like the best idea ever. Until next Friday night when you’re offered a free Mojito. At that point, refer to step one and repeat the dreadful process all over again.

IMAGE TAKEN from gawker.com