When Caring Too Much Becomes Too Much

Starting a relationship or friendship at any age is an exciting time in a person’s life. You get to meet a new person, find common interests, and get to know someone for who they really are. Of course, the two are very different in some ways, but a main factor of both relationships and friendships is that you have a companion there for you through thick and thin.  

This can apply to the people you have had in your life for years as well. They could be friends or a partner, which you have made memories and had fun times to last a lifetime. These people have been there for you through tough times, through happy times, when you are angry or upset. A good friend or partner should care for and appreciate you for who you are, and you should do the same for them.

All relationships and friendships rely on multiple factors, but a few important ones are love, trust, and caring about the other person. Man or woman, you can admit that you love your friends (and hopefully your significant other) and appreciate them for all that they do for you. Both friends and partners are there to make you laugh, to help you when you’re feeling down, or to listen to you when you have to complain. But, as much as you can love and care about this special person, can caring too much cause trouble in paradise? 

Robert Scott, a specialist professor of communication, said, “Caring too much has not been a problem for me personally, but I would imagine for some people it might become an issue of their time.”

Scott used an example of this by explaining that it could hurt a person in the end if they put someone elses needs before their own, whether it be a friend or a partner.

Though I act the complete opposite, I am a notorious for over caring in both friendships and relationships. Of course, like everyone else, I always want to make my friends and my boyfriend laugh, give them advice when they’re confused or upset, or help them whenever need be. But I have a tendency to put peoples needs before my own. I can give my friends the advice to never do this for people, but I can’t seem to take my own advice on the topic. As long as they’re happy, I tell myself that I’m happy, but of course, this isn’t always the case.

I can’t say I’ve ever really put myself in harms way for the people I love, but when I think about it, I’ve never really had to. If a situation turned out that way though, I would probably do it no questioned asked. I argue with myself that I just passionately love the people in my life, and with that comes extreme caring. But I push back my happiness and do things that I don’t want to do for my loved ones all the time. I can’t say it leads to overall unhappiness; in general, I am pretty content with my life. But it has definitely led me to be upset, disappointed, and angry in the past.

Stephanie Friscia, a junior English and elementary education student, believes that you can never care too much about a friend or partner. “My opinion is that if caring too much is ruining your relationship or creating unhappiness, then they’re not the person for you. There is no such thing as caring too much for someone when you love them.” 

Alyssa Healey, a junior health studies student, agrees. “At the end of the day, you shouldn’t worry about caring too much in a friendship or in a relationship because that’s not what people focus on. You should just focus on the fact that you have a person there for you and to support you.”

Caring for someone too much can not only hurt a friendship or relationship, it can ultimately cause unhappiness for you. Though some may find it selfish, I personally think its best to put yourself first in every relationship or friendship. This doesn’t at all mean that you shouldn’t care about your friends or your partner. This simply means that sometimes, if you don’t want to do something or don’t think something they’re doing is right, it’s okay. 

You can still care about a person, go out of your way to make them happy or be there for them, but you need to think about your own happiness as well. Because when you think about it, happiness or unhappiness comes from ourselves first. So make yourself laugh or do something good for yourself today. You should never be too busy to care about you.