bieber roast ew

Justin Bieber Gets Roasted

Admit it: at one point in your life you had a little crush on Justin Bieber. Whether it was his long luscious hair, his cute voice, or how smooth he looked with girls in music videos, he always seemed to be your type. 

Whether your crush for Bieber was real, or still is, there is no way you could miss out on The Roast of Justin Bieber, which aired on Monday March 30 on Comedy Central. From jokes about his pet monkey being left in Germany to his relationship with actress and singer Selena Gomez, the jokes kept getting better and better. 

The ones who mustered up the courage, and jokes, to get on stage to humiliate Bieber were Kevin Hart, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, Pete Davidson, Martha Stewart, Jeff Ross, Shaquille O’Neal, Hannibal Buress, Natasha Leggero, Chris D’elia, and surprise guest Ron Burgundy.

Hart was the host of the night. It was recently announced that he would be receiving the Comedic Genius Award at the MTV Movie Awards this April. Knowing that he was the recipient of this award made it crucial that he lived up to the expectations for this roast, and he delivered; his jokes were hilarious. He joked about people wanting Ebola rather than ‘Bieber fever,’ and how Justin is Canadian but really American because no Canadian has ever been as disrespectful as he has. I would say Hart was one the funniest of the night.

There was a lot of talk about Martha Stewart being the greatest thing to happen to The Roast of Justin Bieber; for some reason, I just was not feeling it. It felt like all of her jokes were written for her, and  that she was reading them for the first time while she was on stage. A lot of the other participants of the roast mocked on how Stewart had been to jail, but her best joke was when she gave Bieber tips on what to do once he made his way to the cellar. For a 73-year-old woman, I guess Stewart did the best she could.

Pete Davidson, who is somewhat of a newcomer on the comedic scene, held his own throughout the night. He was the first to tell his jokes, after Hart did his little introduction, and the audience witnessed some jaw-dropping moments. Davidson mentioned how his father died in the 9/11 attacks, and he had always regretted growing up without a father until he met Bieber’s father. The crowd was shocked, but the delivery was pretty on point. It was reported that Davidson also made jokes about the late Paul Walker, but those were not aired on the special. Talk about controversy! 

While there were many well-known people in attendance to see the Biebs get attacked, there were two comedians on the stage that seemed irrelevant. Hannibal Buress and Chris D’Elia were both part of the roast, but were sitting towards the end of the stage. It was rare for another ‘roaster’ to make a joke at either one of them. D’Elia is supposedly Bieber’s favorite comedian, which explains why he was there, but why was Buress in attendance? He even said himself that he did not enjoy the music the Justin put out, but was at the event because it was good for his career. Maybe Comedy Central should have looked a little harder for some comedians.

Some of the funnier jokes were about Bieber not having a Grammy despite all the songs and fans he has. Jeff Ross joked, “A lot of people are upset that Justin hasn’t won a Grammy. There is Martha Stewart. She can be your grammy.” D’Elia also joked about what Bieber doesn’t have by saying, “Justin, you have it all— except for respect, love, friends, good parents, and a Grammy.” Bieber has been nominated for a Grammy three times, but has never won.

Many people brought up the singer’s on-again-off-again relationship with Selena Gomez. “Selena Gomez couldn’t be here tonight. Just because she didn’t want to be here. I wish I had something better to tell you but I don’t,” joked Hart. Ross also took his stab at a Gomez-inspired joke by telling Bieber, “Selena Gomez wanted to be here tonight, but she’s dating men now.” Backstage at the event, Bieber was asked about how he felt when it came to the jokes about him and Gomez. “I mean everybody was going balls to the wall. There was no holding back, so it was whatever.” It was also reported that a lot of Bieber’s new songs were inspired by his break up.

Just when you thought the night was coming to a close, special guest Ron Burgundy (Will Ferrell) showed up with a drink in one hand and a cigarette in the other. Staying in full character, he proceeded to tell the audience that Bieber was doing everything right! From whom he hangs out with to the characteristics he possess, Burgundy was all about defending Bieber. Out of everyone that stood up on that stage last Monday night, it seemed as though Bieber had the biggest smile on his face when Burgundy stepped up to the plate.

After all was said and done, it was Bieber who got the last laugh. “What do you get when you give a teenager two hundred million dollars? A bunch of has-beens calling you a lesbian for two hours.” He proceeded to end his speech by saying he was turning over a new leaf, and getting his life back in check. He wants people to realize that he grew up in the public eye and everyone watched him make mistakes, but he has learned from them. It is now time for new music, new relationships, and new adventures. 

The Roast of Justin Bieber can be seen at