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Ask Chloe

default article imageHow do I deal with letting go/moving on after facing rejection from a close friend – Anonymous

Anonymous– Facing rejection from a friend is particularly difficult.The person that has always been a shoulder to lean on, is now suddenly gone. Leaving you unsure of where to turn next. Remember that everything happens for a reason. What is meant for you will find it’s way.

 Stephanie Hall, Ph.D., LPC, NCC, ACS, Associate Professor & Chair of the Department of Professional Counseling at Monmouth University says, “Being rejected by a close friend can be a deeply painful experience… Although you cannot control another person’s actions you can control your thoughts about the situation. Pay attention to what you are telling yourself about this loss. In general, speaking to yourself with compassion is useful. “I did the best that I could” or “I was a loyal friend” are more productive thoughts than allowing yourself to dwell on mistakes that have been made or things that didn’t go as planned.”

Something to keep in mind is that is okay to not be okay. Gary Lewandowski Jr., Ph.D, Professor of Psychology with an emphasis on close romantic relationships, advises to during this process, “take the opportunity to engage in some deep self-reflection to better understand yourself…”

Once you can understand your feelings, you can embrace them. Hall added,“feelings of sadness, frustration and loneliness are valid- notice how you are feeling and why you are feeling that way and then try to shift the focus to something more positive. It may also be helpful to focus on other fulfilling relationships in your life. If you are open to it, seeking out a counselor to work with could also be helpful.”

If you can find someone to love and respect the person you are, your friendships to come will have a solid foundation.

Good Luck,


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PHOTO COURTESY of Monmouth University