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Ask Chloe

I have a crush on my friend who is in a relationship. What do I do? How do I know if they like me back?- Anonymous

Anonymous– – Although this seems like a sticky situation, it is one that only you probably know that you are in. It seems as though you have already come to terms, and recognized, that you have a crush on someone who is at the moment unattainable to you.

There is good news, your feelings are not wrong. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D., Professor in the Department of Psychology has specialization in social psychology with an emphasis on close romantic relationships involving such topics as relationship initiation, interpersonal attraction, love, relationship maintenance, infidelity, and relationship dissolution, had a few thoughts.

“The best relationships are built on strong friendships between partners, so it isn’t a bad idea to look to friendships as potentially leading to more,” said Lewandowski.

Entering into a relationship where a previous friendship existed allows you to have a solid foundation for the future. Because your crush has a girlfriend, “You want to be respectful of the friend, so while they are in a relationship it may not be the best time to reveal your feelings,” said Lewandowski.

In general, a crush is a crush. In time it has the potential to fade away, or intensify. “The fact that they are in a relationship suggests (at least at the moment) they aren’t into you, so it probably isn’t best to try to find out too much,” said Lewandowski.

What’s meant to be for you will always find it’s way, whether it is with this person or not. Instead of continuing to bottle up this feeling try expressing your feelings through outlets like journaling.

“For now, the best thing to do is probably to do nothing other than to be a good friend,” said Lewandowski.

Good Luck,


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PHOTO COURTESY of Monmouth University